


How to Steal Your Things Back from Ignoramus Ferrets, aka. Draco Malfoy

by Glitcher_749



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gay, Hate to Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Plans, Relationship(s), Slash, Stolen Moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-18 02:14:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4688657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitcher_749/pseuds/Glitcher_749
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If there was one thing Harry Potter could say he loathed, it would most definitely be Draco Malfoy......"</p><p> Harry Potter has had one of his most precious items stolen from him. The culprit has to be Draco Lucius Malfoy, and Harry would be damned before he let Draco get away with this one! And thus, the plan was born. </p><p>Disclaimer: I own no part of Harry Potter. As a sad, lonely fanfiction writer, I only own the plot of this story. *Sobs* Why couldn't I be as brilliant as J. K. Rowling?</p><p>R&R :))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hatchings of The Plan

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Ok so this is my first official "story" that I've written. The rest of stuff that I've written is basically someone along the format - can I call it format? Idk what it is but yeah you get the idea. It's along the lines of the first one I've written. Completely different but the same type of fanfic I guess? Anyways, this will be multi-chaptered, blossoming from a plot bunny I thought of.

If there was one thing Harry Potter could say he _loathed,_ it would most definitely be Draco Malfoy. There were so many people who had tormented him, hurt him and made him suffer. But none, not a single one of them was as _infuriating_ as Draco Lucius Malfoy. He had the ability to make Harry want to strangle him with his bare hands just by looking at him! And it’s not as if he didn’t try; Malfoy went to great lengths to ensure that Harry suffered.

All of it made him so angry, that he could barely speak as he paced around the Gryffindor common room. It was this same anger that had Hermione in fits as she watched him, giggling sporadically at his face.

“What did he do this time?” She asked once she had calmed down.

“That, that bloody wanker! He stole it! I know he has it! And he dared to look smugly at me afterwards! Why I ought to strangle that piece of ferret shit, stealing my property like the bastard he is.”  Harry ignored the admonishment that came with his lengthy diatribe.

“What did he steal?” Curiosity emanated from beside him.

“Err…. Never mind that,” Harry’s voice turned slightly sheepish, “What matters is that he stole it! I just want to rip that smug smirk of his right off his face.”

“How do you even know that it’s him?”

At that absurd question, Harry abruptly stopped pacing, whirling around to face Hermione with an incredulous look on his face. “Are you kidding me?! Don’t you know anything about Malfoy? He has it out to get me. Of course it was him! Who else could it be, Nearly Headless Nick?”

Harry continued muttering obscenities under his breath even as Hermione’s face turned thoughtful, either with wanting to know what he had lost, or trying to think up a solution to his problem.

“Well you could always just summon it back to you,” she offered.

“No, that won’t work, it has an anti-summoning charm on it,” he muttered.

“Maybe he’ll have it with him. So just watch out for when he takes it out, then you can take it back.”

“No, I’d have to go into the Slytherin common rooms for that to work……” Harry’s voice trailed off as his eyes lit up with an idea.

“Hang on……the Slytherin common rooms! Malfoy probably left it in his room the asshole, wanting to make sure I couldn’t get ahold of it before he read it to his ‘buddies’. I can just go in can’t I! I’ll look through his stuff and take it!”

Harry completely tuned out Hermione, ignoring the multitude of reasons why his plan would never work in favor of thinking through his harebrained scheme. The only sad part was that Ron would not be coming with; the redhead he always spent time with had arranged for a Gryffindor Chess Tournament that night. Harry highly doubted more than 5 people would be obsessed enough to go, but who knew? Besides, it would do Ron some good to get some fame without Harry by his side, hopefully reducing the jealousy that Ron had for him.

As he paced, his plan soon seemed to come together:

Firstly, he would have to know the password to get into the Slytherin Common Rooms. That part was easy enough; Slytherins weren’t all that smart. After all, he had gotten in without any trouble during his second year. Granted, that was with polyjuice but he reckoned that it wouldn’t be that harder. He did have an invisibility cloak.

Next and this was the most crucial part. When did he enact his plan? It had to be at a time where pretty much no one was in the common room. More importantly, it had to be at a time where Malfoy was not going to be in his room. He also needed someone to get him in said room. Hmmm…… OH! He could distract the other 6th years during dinner, so that he could slip in with the other years as they went back into the common room. Perfect.

Harry got out a quill and parchment to jot down his thoughts, his hand speeding across the paper with idea after idea filling up the long piece of parchment.

This plan was going to be perfect.


	2. The first step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here, Harry enacts the first part of his plan.....I tried to make it somewhat entertaining because this is not the climax sighhh so yeah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: ookay chp 2. Now this is more of a "filler" chapter kind of thing but WAIT DON'T GO YET the next chapter is going to be a lot more fun to read....and write. The next chapter onwards has more drama so don't worry but yeah this is just the first part.

Okay, so it didn’t go as smoothly as he had planned it. Maybe it was because his expectations were too high. Maybe it was because he hadn’t accounted for any hitches in his plan. It was most definitely because he really needed to pay more attention in class.

Now he had pretty much scrapped his original idea. Well, he didn’t throw away all of it, but he did realize that there were a lot of holes in it. Holes that Malfoy would love to poke at. And he knew that getting caught was not an option for him. He could list the charges of the top of his head; stealing people’s property (even though it was HIS), breaking into the Slytherin common room, breathing loudly, being James Potter’s son……yeah, Snape was seriously the most reasonable person in terms of punishment. Either way, expulsion was not on his bucket list. (Dumbledore siding with him or not, it wasn’t a chance he was willing to take)

Firstly he needed the password. This was far by the simplest and yet the most important part of his plan. Then again, missing any part of his plan would result in him getting caught, or worse, him being unable to get it back from Malfoy. He decided that it was far too risky to get into the common room by following right behind someone else. 

Call it cunning, or even self-preservation, but he was going to get it back without taking any unneeded risks. And getting in with someone else was far too risky to even be considered. That item was far too important to be left for blackmail in the hands of a Malfoy. Especially since he had proof that it was Malfoy, having seen Malfoy looking at it before (even though he would never admit he had been looking at Malfoy), a fact which made his blood boil with righteous anger but also made him just that much more motivated to get it out of Malfoy’s filthy hands.

He also had proof that going in with somebody else did not work. He had learnt that lesson well in the train to Hogwarts; bloody Malfoy and his bloody arrogant smirk that caused his bloody nose. 

So, he had to go in by himself. And that needed the password. Personally, he found his idea ingenious. After all, simplicity is bliss…..or was that ignorance? Well, the only ignorant person he knew was the same Malfoy that would pay for stealing his stuff.

Finding the tidbit of information that would aid him in his quest for his property led him to his current location; a small alcove behind a loose segment of the wall on the bottom right of the empty corridor two hallways down from the Slytherin common rooms. Literally every Slytherin had to pass by this corridor to enter the room.

Sadly, not that many Slytherins would feel the need to wander down that particular corridor at 3.30am.

Well, excluding one particular blond-haired ferret that he took to observing in the late hours of the night when he suffered from insomnia. Basically, he watched Malfoy on the Marauders Map every night. It was interesting how Malfoy managed to disappear from the map at exactly 1.45 every. single. morning.

But that could wait; his item, his precious, was far more important at the time. And he would get it back, all the more sooner with the light, barely-there footsteps he heard coming his way.

“Come on, come on” He thought eagerly, his pulse already beginning to race as he heard the footsteps passing by him. Waiting for exactly 20 seconds, he slipped on his cloak before stepping out of the alcove, the grinding made by the stone causing him to freeze. When Malfoy did not react, he tapped his wand to his feet once more and followed along silently, his footsteps soundless against the cold, stone floor. 

“Aco-“ Malfoy whipped around, his beady silver eyes focusing on the empty corridor, senses tingling incessantly as he paused, mid-word.

Harry cursed inwardly as he took a step back, his feet making a slight squeaking noise as his boots made contact with the floor even as he tried to take back his actions. His heartbeat drummed against his ears, the only thing he could hear, leaving him even more afraid as he panicked. 

“Shitshitshitshitshitshit” and “What if Malfoy finds me” became the only two thoughts that ran through his head, the rest of his thoughts a muddled, incoherent mess. 

Stupid silencing charms.

Malfoy focused on him, seemingly knowing where Harry was despite the invisibility cloak that shielded him. His wand slid smoothly into his hand as he stared around, his body posture the only thing that managed to belay the tenseness that he felt.

Truth be told, it was actually a rather comedic scene. One boy, with dark circles around his eyes and a slightly mussed appearance that was holding a stick confidently in his hand even though his body was tense, like he was preparing for an attack. To anyone attending Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry (mainly one Harry Potter) all of this was fine, perfectly normal even, except for the fact that his eyes were drilling into what seemed to be an empty corridor.

Only, as Harry knew, it wasn’t. If he wasn’t wearing his cloak, and stood up to match Malfoy’s pose, it would be a reenactment of Harry’s second year. Then again, Harry couldn’t even picture the scene in front of him, paralyzed with fear and unwilling to even twitch a muscle in case Malfoy and his stupid sharp senses picked it up.

It almost seemed like eternity, with Harry’s face turning slightly more blue with each passing second, that Malfoy finally turned back around, his wand still held tightly with whitened (even more than usual) knuckles. 

“Must be peeves,” He muttered under his breath before turning to face back to the ordinary, unassuming wall in front of him. 

“Or maybe I’m just going mad,” he followed up. 

Harry couldn’t have been more frustrated. He couldn’t breathe because Malfoy would pick it up and god knows what would happen to him but he wouldn’t get it back and that couldn’t happen. Malfoy had to hurry up dam – 

“Aconite”

The word was whispered, near-silent, cutting off Harry’s internal monologue as Malfoy slipped into the room before him.

Harry’s heart raced, his mind whirring with thoughts and ideas but mostly anticipation as he saw a glimpse of the place that he would be sneaking into the very next day. 

He was one step closer to getting it back, and ten times more determined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so did anyone notice the few references I made? Hahaha because if you have you are a complete nerd. JKJK. But what's so wrong about being a nerd? I mean I ADDED those references  
> 1\. Snape was "seriously" --> a little far-fetched but sirius puns (yes I know I suck) and ++ snape HATES sirius (which is pretty much why I added that in the first place)
> 
> 2\. His precious --> I am in the wrong fandom but WHO CARES
> 
> 3\. Holes that Malfoy would love to poke at (*coughcough* *splutters* *WHAT IS THIS INAPPROPRIATE CONTENT TSK*)
> 
> okay so not that many references 
> 
> now onto the (slightly) more important stuff
> 
> My exams are in 2 weeks. I know, you can start crying for me now. But yeah, so don't expect updates for a while. But the next chapter is going to be a lot more exciting with pranks and stealing and /maybe/ getting caught.
> 
> Who knows?  
> Definitely not me because I don't even know what the item is !!  
> (Jk)  
> ( or am I?)

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Ok, it is a little short but its the first chapter. There will only be a few more, but they will definitely be more than this one. This is sorta like a prologue kind of thing so yeah. 
> 
> Read and Review!


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